Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
