you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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