Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
