is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
