Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
