You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
