Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
