they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
