Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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