i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
