Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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