I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
