I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm getting married
To pizza
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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