I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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