It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
