why im i the only drunk person in the library?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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