he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
