Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
