Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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