woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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