He is an equal opportunity slut.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
So squirting runs in the family.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
