I feel like I'm in dance class right now
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
