I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
