Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
