Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
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