Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Please, let me fuck your mom
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Randomize
