I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
