so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I forgot how hot balto sounded
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
