There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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