After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
