kristin has been a bad kristin
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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