dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
