I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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