the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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