I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
