So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
