We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
