you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
