The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
