I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
