he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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