Plan B is the new Plan A
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
