he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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