They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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