Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
