I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
