YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
