We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
