I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
