tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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