the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
