some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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