C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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