Im at strip club and am horny
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
