How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
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